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Stellar Blog

What is Sex Therapy?

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Stellar Pro makes it easy to find a sex therapist. Wondering what sex therapy is? Thinking about starting sex therapy? Continue reading to learn more about sex therapy and how Stellar Pro can help you.

What is sex therapy?

We all know that sex is a vital part of life, but sometimes things can go wrong in the bedroom. That’s where sex therapy comes in.

Sex therapy refers to a specialized skills and specific treatment approaches to sexuality/relationship problems and issues. These can include questions about sexual orientation, sexual identity, gender identity, and sexual or relationship preferences including monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships.

Sex therapy helps you clarify, set goals, and resolve sexual questions or difficulties that are impacting you and/or your relationship.

A sex therapist should be non-judgemental, unconditionally accepting, and open to any kind of client. Sex therapists should have explored their sexual attitudes, biases, and beliefs in depth. They should have also received additional classes in sexuality and undergone supervised training in sex therapy from an AASECT certified therapist.

Stellar Pro makes starting sex therapy easy. Stellar Pro is the only therapy directory that verifies and highlights clinicians’ advanced training and expertise. When you find a therapist on Stellar Pro you are assured that you are matching with somebody who is trained in sex and relationships.

Why is sex therapy important?

Sex therapy is important because it provides a safe, confidential space for people to explore their sexuality and address any issues that may be causing distress. If you’re experiencing problems in your sex life, don’t suffer in silence – seek help from a qualified sex therapist.

What is AASECT?

AASECT stands for the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. “AASECT certified sex therapists are mental health professionals, trained to provide in-depth psychotherapy, who have specialized in treating clients with sexual issues and concerns.”

If you’d like to learn more about AASECT we encourage you to check out their website.

Why is it important for my therapist to be AASECT Certified?

A therapist who is AASECT certified will have been trained to provide in-depth psychotherapy with a specialization in sexuality. To be certified by AASECT one must have a graduate degree (PhD, MD, MSW, or MA), post-degree clinical experience, and a valid state license to practice.

Your AASECT certified therapist will have received a minimum of 90 hours of study in core areas of human sexuality and an additional 60 hours of training related to sexuality education. AASECT certified therapists must undergo up to 50 hours of direct supervision by an AASECT certified sex therapy supervisor (CST-S).

Finally, they will have undergone a Sexuality Attitude Reassessment (SAR) which is an additional 10 hours.

All of this advanced training means that you sex therapist will be knowledgeable and experienced in sexuality. A sex therapist that is not AASECT certified may not have necessarily undergone this training.

How do I know if I need Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is for everyone. Regardless of your relationship status, age, cultural background, gender, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status. Sex therapy can benefit you.

Many people seek sexuality counseling or sex therapy because they want to get to that “next level” for sex. This could include becoming better lovers or more comfortable with sexual behaviors. Perhaps you are looking to experiment and expand your sexual behaviors. Sex therapy from a certified and sex-positive therapist can be useful in all of these situations.

Do I need to be in a relationship to attend sex therapy?

Absolutely not! There’s much that can be learned, taught, explored, and/or practiced on your own. Even if you are in a relationship, sex therapy doesn’t have to focus solely on your relationship.

If you are interested in seeing a certified sex-positive sex therapist as a couple, Stellar Pro has clinicians who are happy to help.

Do I need to be sexual to attend sex therapy?

Nope! There are many individuals who identify as non-sexual, but not being sexual doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from sex therapy. Those who are unsexual may still have questions about desire, libido, bodily function, and future next steps.

Do I need sex therapy?

Sex therapy is for anybody but is it right for you? Sex therapy can help you navigate the cultural taboos, stigmas, embarrassment, or shame you may view and judge your own sex life. Sex therapy can especially benefit those who are involved in polyamory or kink. Interested in spicing up your sex life? Sex therapy can be a way to acquire appropriate information and way to explore new behaviors in a safe environment .

No matter your reasons for attending sex therapy, talking to a certified sex therapist can be very useful.

Common reasons to go to sex therapy

There are many reasons someone might choose to go to sex therapy. We’ve listed some of the most common reasons people attend sex therapy:

– Concerns about sexual desire/arousal

– Concerns about sexual interests or sexual orientation

– Impulsive or compulsive sexual behavior

– Consent issues

– Erectile function concerns

– Trouble reaching orgasm

– Painful intercourse

– Embarrassment issues

– Intimacy issues related to a disability or chronic condition

– Aging and sex

– Concerns regarding past unwanted sexual experiences

– You’re in/thinking about a consensual non-monogamy (CNM) relationship

Even if you don’t see your concerns listed above, sex therapy can still benefit you. A certified and sex-positive therapist can help you navigate your thoughts and feelings around sex and can help you unpack any issues or concerns you are having.

Can I find a therapist that specializes in sex therapy for men?

Absolutely! Sex therapy for men is not a new phenomenon, by any means. In fact, many therapists have been focusing on the treatment of male sexual issues for years. The trouble is that many men are reluctant to seek help, for a variety of reasons.

Many Stellar Pros offer sex therapy for people who identify as male. Some clinicians even focus on male-specific issues such as erectile dysfunction.

Some reasons men attend sex therapy include:

– Body confidence and image issues

– Shame reduction

– Sex education or coachin

– Toxic masculinity

– Pornography-use and masturbation practices

– “Sex Addiction” or Problem Sexual Behavior

– Decreasing testosterone

– Erectile dysfunction

– Mismatched sexual desire with partner(s)

– Birth control and vasectomies

– Sexual trauma

Even if your reason for attending sex therapy isn’t on the list, many men still find they benefit from it.

(H3) If I’m a virgin, do I need Sex Therapy?

Virginity is nothing but a cultural construct, yet it is something many of us are concerned about casting aside during our adolescence and into adulthood if we haven’t managed to get rid of “it”. The stigmas around not having lost your virginity include:

– “The idea that everyone wants to lose their virginity, and that people who remain virgins remain so because they cannot find a partner.

– Shame about remaining a virgin.

– Viewing virgins as categorically different from non-virgins.

– Using “virgin” as an insult or a way to bully someone.”
Source

These can all lead to feelings of self-doubt, sexual shame, relationship frustration, and mistaken notions about sexuality. These emotions can be difficult to process and impact ones sex life. This is where sex therapy can help. A sex therapist can help you work with your relationship around virginity and sexuality in a safe, judgment free environment.

Some other ways sex therapy can help you with the construct of virginity include:

– “Destigmatizing virginity with education and research about typical sexual behavior.

– Discussing issues of sexual identity and orientation. Some people remain virgins because they are asexual or aromantic. Others worry they can’t be certain of their identity until they have sex.

– Supporting a person to talk about sex with their partners and identify sexual acts with which they are comfortable.

– Encouraging a client to draw their own sexual boundaries rather than relying on the sexual boundaries that friends, family, or society want them to draw.

– Talking about issues of self-esteem, shame, and gender norms.”
Source

Sex therapy can help anybody who is struggling with the idea of virginity. You should never feel ashamed to talk about your sexual inexperience. Additionally, anxiety around sex can make your sexual debut less pleasurable than you may want it to be. Talking to a certified and sex-positive sex therapist can help ease these worries and make you feel more confident in the bedroom.

I see a lot of content about kink. If I’m vanilla, do I need sex therapy?

If you’re vanilla (non-kinky, into plain ole regular sex), absolutely! While some clinicians may prefer to work with kinky clients, many also prefer to work with non-kinky clients. If in your therapy journey you want to start a kink journey, Stellar Pro has clinicians who have Kink Informed Certification who are here to help you.

I see a lot of content about consensual non-monogamy. If I’m in a monogamous relationship, do I need sex therapy?

Although all relationships can benefit from sex therapy, consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and monogamous relationships benefit the most. In consensual non-monogamy relationships, sex therapy can help negotiate the boundaries and resource issues that arise. Those who wish to pursue a monogamous relationship can also benefit from sex therapy.

What can I expect from Sex Therapy?

Like non-sex therapy, sex therapy can be either online or in-person. Sex therapy is like any other therapy session except the focus can be on sex or sexual related topics.

You and your sex therapist will work together to understand the issues you are facing. These can range from “How do I learn what I like during sex?” to “How do I tell my partner(s) I want to stop being in an open relationship?” to everything in between.

Your therapist may give you worksheets or specific task goals – such as journaling. They may also recommend books such as Don’t Put That in There! By Aaron Carroll. Be prepared to get asked tough questions and do a deeper reflection. Therapy can be difficult but it’s important to keep moving forward.

What will not happen is nudity or any demonstrations of sexual acts.

As with any therapy, sex therapy may take a few sessions before you see a great improvement. Each client is different. Some clients only need 1-2 sessions while others need a more long term schedule. No matter how long sex therapy takes, remember that every session is helping you work towards understanding your desires and needs.

What benefits can I expect from Sex Therapy?

Everyone who attends sex therapy will get different benefits out of it. If you have a specific goal in mind, it’s important to discuss with your therapist what your therapy goals are early on. That way you can both work towards a common goal.

Not sure what your sex therapy goals are? Hard to pick just one? That’s what your therapist is here to help you figure out. It can take a few sessions but once you start, you’ll be on the path to seeing the benefits of therapy.

Some benefits you may get from sex therapy include:

– Deeper understanding of your sexuality

– Solutions to intimacy issues

– Resolve differences in sexual desire

– Understanding your partner(s) more

– Improved communication

– Improved orgasms

– Ease in obtained/retraining an erection

– Painless intercourse

– Improved confidence

These are only some of the things sex therapy can help you with. It’s important to discuss with your therapist what your sex therapy goals are. Stellar Pro has sex therapists experienced in a variety of sexual issues. Let us help you on your sex therapy journey.

Why should I choose Stellar Pro to find a Sex Therapist?

Stellar Pro is the only therapy directory that verifies and highlights clinicians’ advanced training and expertise. We make it easy to find a therapist that specializes in sex and relationships. When you find a therapist on Stellar Pro you are assured that you are matching with somebody who is trained in sex and relationships.

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